About a year ago writer Lenore Skenazy wrote this editorial for the NY Sun:
"Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone." The backlash was huge--try this--google "worst mom in america."
She's a writer, so naturally
she has a blog. She also has
an upcoming book.
The introduction to her book is available on Scribd.
Freedom and safety are hot topics in these parts. I'll assume you know why, and move on.
For a lot of people, the question is "How has America changed since I was a kid?" A common perception is that it is more dangerous now. When we look at the statistics, it actually isn't.
We tolerate fewer risks now. Kids (mine included,) wear seatbelts, bike helmets, and sunscreen (paba free, thank you very much.) My kids drink very limited soda and their milk is organic. I've cleaned the kitchen floor with vinegar--just vinegar--for the past 10 years. I consider myself pretty conscientious.
I was really surprised today when two moms I didn't know chastised me for letting my girls ride their bikes "too far" ahead of me on the bike path. Really? It's a suburban park. The track is the size of a high school track--maybe slightly bigger, but not by much. It's in a nice neighborhood (ha--not the one I live in,) surrounded by well-kept homes. There is no litter. No graffiti. To be fair, a stream runs through the middle of the loop and the trees on it's banks partially obscure the view of a short section. But it's not like it's in the wilderness, and it's certainly not remote or unpopulated. This afternoon there were ten to twelve people walking there--mothers with strollers, dog walkers, elderly people...I even recognized some of them.
My girls are capable on their bikes. They're polite. They give elderly people plenty of room. They only stop at the playground. They don't go to the restroom or water fountain without telling me.
I'm not putting Lenore Skenazy on a pedestal. Being the small town girl I am, I'm not so sure I'd send my 9yo off on a New York subway...but I'm not willing to excoriate her either. To me, it's all about risk management.
Lenore says a kid's risk of being abducted by a stranger is one in 1.5 million. I haven't fact checked her, but that sounds about like what Gavin DeBecker's says in
Protecting the Gift (great book, by the way.) I'm tempted to contrast that with the risk involved in riding in a car or falling down stairs, but as cars and stairs are so integral to our lives, I don't think that's a fair comparison. I do think it's fair to compare the risk of giving children a smidge of freedom to the risk of other optional activities--swimming, horseback riding, riding carnival rides.
It was a big deal when I first started letting the girls ride the loop ahead of me. They begged and pleaded for a long time. T worked all summer last year to be able to ride the whole thing at speed (a prerequisite.) Her sense of accomplishment when she finally did it was a milestone of her childhood. We went for ice cream.
It's a hard thing to maintain a commitment to rationality when emotions are running high.